Children, one of the main reasons human relationships fall apart are sudden fits of anger. Often people get angry over insignificant matters. If we can exercise some control, we can avoid many problems in life.
Sometimes, due to some misunderstanding, people become angry at those who are in fact innocent. Thereafter, when they realise their mistake, they beg for forgiveness. But no matter how many times they apologise, the innocent person’s wounded heart never completely heals. So, we must learn to control our temper. If we are ever confronted with a situation that makes us angry, instead of reacting, we must learn to be patient and control our mind. With effort, in time we will be able become victorious in these inner battles.
Once a woman told her friend, “Everyday when my husband comes home from work, we fight. Is there any way to stop this?”
The friend replied, “Don’t worry. I have the perfect medicine. As soon as your husband starts shouting, take a spoonful of medicine. All you have to do is to hold it in your mouth without swallowing.”
That evening, when her husband started to get angry, the woman took a mouthful of the medicine and kept there in her mouth. Miraculously, after a while her husband calmed down. She repeated the same technique for the next two evenings. Each time it worked!
The following day, the woman said to her friend, “The medicine you gave me was amazing! We have not fought for three days now! Can you give me the recipe so I can make it myself?”
The friend replied, “I will, after six months.”
Six months passed. There were no more fights. Peace and love pervaded the home. Finally the friend told the woman, “Really there is no special recipe. The medicine in that bottle is nothing but water. When you had your mouth full, you could not react to your husband. This allowed him to calm down. It also provided time for your mind to become calm as well. That’s all.”
From this story, it is clear that when we are ready to be a little patient, our lives will be filled with peace and happiness.
When angry, we must be careful to not speak what enters our mind. We also should never take decisions when angry. Anger is like wound in our heart. Before we speak or act, we must heal this wound.
Patience and discernment are the only medicines for anger. When we think with discernment, it gives us the ability to understand our mind’s weaknesses. Then, we will be able to see our thoughts clearly—as if looking at our own face in a clean mirror. Then, we will understand the insignificance of our anger and the superiority of patience.
Amma, Sri Mata Amritanandamayi Devi