Children, the foundation of family relationships is love and mutual faith. Family life will be joy filled only when these two remain together. But today very often, there is not enough steadfastness for mutual faith in family relations. Hence, family life that begins with love gradually turns into fear and exercise of control of one over another.
“I cannot stay away from you even for a second. I am in heaven every second I am with you.” We can hear the same individual who said this later saying that he so much hates and despises even seeing his wife. When hearts distance, mutual shortcomings and faults are found and couples fight. We will not find shortcomings in an individual who we openly love from within the heart. Even if we find some fault, we have no difficulty to forgive and tolerate.
Once a man visited a marriage counselor. After listening to his problems, the counselor said, “Today, you are seeing only the shortcomings and faults in your wife. There has to be some good quality in any individual. So do one thing. Write down in a piece of paper all the good qualities you used to see and still see in your wife.” Once he reached home, he took a pen and paper and started writing. He was watching his wife frequently. She asked, “What are you writing?” He responded, “I am making a list of your good qualities. He continued writing. When the page was full, he read it. He himself was surprised. He never realized that his wife had so many good qualities. All this time, the wife could not contain her longing to see the list. She requested her husband to show her the list he had prepared. Even though he hesitated in the beginning, he finally gave her the list. She read that. She was surprised and happy that her husband was able to find so many good qualities in her. Right below his list, she added a few things. They were the good qualities she saw in her husband. Reading that, the husband was also happy.
When there is mutual fight and mental separation, the faults of shortcomings of the life partner alone are visible and noticeable. In such instances, if we are ready and willing to recognize the good in the life partner instead of seeing them through eyes of hatred and malice, mutual love and faith will strengthen. That will spread beauty and fragrance in family life.
Amma, Sri Mata Amritanandamayi Devi