March 22, 2018, 11:50 am IST
News Updates




Sushil Kumar, Mar 03, 2018

In an undergraduate girls’ hostel, three roommates who have been inspired by the feminist movement are having an animated discussion in their dorm on the eve of the International Women’s Day on 8th March. (This is a satirical piece).

Asha: I strongly feel that we should bring out an explosive newsletter to bring the focus back on women's issues, at least among students in our college.

Carol: In this internet age, why do we restrict our sphere of influence to just our campus—let’s make it sensational and go viral.

Shamna: I think Carol has a point—just look at the way the winking stuff has hoodwinked the entire e-planet.

The threesome flash a broad smile and give each other a high-five, and shout in chorus, Yeah! –but not loud enough for the alert Warden to hear.

Asha: I was wondering as to why we should become an appendage of the male.

Shamna: What do you mean, Asha?

Carol: She is right. Look at the English language –we are either a suffix or a prefix. Aren’t we referred to as the female species—and hidden in our description is a male.

Shamna: And what about Women or Woman –that man-fellow is present there again.

Asha: Come to think of it, from the day we come of age, the man-bondage doesn’t leave us – think menses.

Shamna: And what about menstruation?

Asha: On this subject, how are you feeling today, since you are having periods?

Carol: Am still having some pain in my abdomen. O Gosh, he is there again.

Asha: What about the most memorable phase of our college life: Romance—and here too man has found a refuge.

Shamna: Hey girls, can’t we think of anything good about this tribe? Let’s ponder and pause ….Oh hell, that sets the alarm bells ringing again –menopause.

Carol: What’s happening, folks?  Is this guy God or what, he appears to be omnipresent. It’s in our womb that creation takes place—and see, the semen takes the credit.

Shamna: Is there any way to save mankind from this intrusion?

Asha: What did you say, mankind? And in comes our man! How about abolishing this word from our dictionary?

Carol: Let’s use a more gender-neutral word, Humanity.

Shamna: Oh dear, he is found his way back again.

Asha: Did you read in the media that the handsome Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, told a woman at a town hall to use the word “Peoplekind”, not mankind.

Carol: Will we ever get men in authority here who would have the inclination to even think on those lines, leave alone voice their thoughts. What do you say Shamna, can we have a "sher" interlude, as our discussion is getting quite heated up.

Shamna: Gee whiz, I can think of this old “ghazal”, and it sort of sums up my viewpoint of the male species –

“...Humko unsae hai wafa ki ummeed
Jo nahi jaanate wafa kya hai
Dil-e-nadaan tujhe hua kya hai 

Aakhir is dard ki dawa kya hai…”

Asha: After our Ghazal Princess, how about a mood-changing hymn from you, Carol?

Carol: Hymns...Hmmm!

Shamna: What happened, you look flustered?

Carol: My God, thinking of hymns, I just noticed that these guys have made their presence in our most private space.

Asha: What do you mean Carol?

Carol: (in a whisper) Hymen…

Shamna: It’s high time that we zero in on an apt theme for our newsletter for the International Women’s Day –MenExit!

Asha: Why should the English language have such an unexplainable bias vis-à-vis our Indian languages? I think we should campaign against this gender-insensitive language; and we now can take help from the new clan of Britain-baiting specialists.

Carol: Why not make Feminine and Masculine mandatory in lieu of the man-phobic nature of this language?

Asha: You have given a very pertinent suggestion, because in many of our ancient traditions, I am told, that the concept of “Ardhanarishvara” represents the synthesis of masculine and feminine energies of the universe.

Shamna: Goodness gracious, that’s probably why we have so many names where the feminine prefaces the masculine name, such as, Radhakrishnan, Sitaram, Radheyshyam, Lakshminarayan, Durgadas, Kalidas…

Carol: So folks, let us get back to the basics --we need to launch a multi-faceted campaign for MenExit!

Asha: Backed by the hashtag, UninstallMen!!

Shamna: And of course, TimesupMen!!!

Asha: To drive this movement on top gear, we need a high-profile Mentor, Oops! Let’s say, torchbearer.

Carol: How about Akshay Kumar, he had the guts to do this new film focusing on our issues—but wait a minute, it is called Padman! He is ruled out.

Asha: With Bollywood looking up to Hollywood for inspiration, what more can we expect—because they showed the way to name celluloid mega-heroes:  Batman, Superman, Spiderman, Ironman...

Shamna: Is our newsletter looking like a bad Omen? Phew, O’ men, can’t you leave us alone!

Asha: I have a great idea, let's get our newsletter launched by the Minister of Women and Child Development. By the way, Carol, just Google, who is it?

Carol: Dear me! Did you notice the first three alphabets in the Minister's name?

All stared into Carol’s phone screen. The first three alphabets were Man…


Winking, winking, Superstar, all are wondering what you’re

Your video is watched “baar, baar, lagataar”

Caste no bar, color no bar, language no bar


The naughty eyebrows, the bewitching wink

Has now replaced the ritualistic evening drink               

Millions downloading your irresistible blink-link


When Rishi Kapoor tweeted ‘Mere time mein naheen ayeen aap!’

You’ve must have exclaimed, ‘Aiyo ammay, baap rey baap’

While the world was enjoying an all-new “alap”


Some are in a nasty mood to fry, raising hue and cry

Can’t stand your baffling smile, so flirtatiously shy

Leave them to the Honourable Judges to hear & try


You are a "(V)warrior" deep inside

You can take them all in your stride

Having bridged the North-South divide


Trust you’ll be around, not just Hi & Bye

Up above the world so high

Like a diamond in the sky.

Sushil Kumar, Management Specialist, Former Dean, Amrita School of Business.  

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